I am an effective 24 yo religious Congolese woman, professional, performing within an excellent FAANG (thus I’m while making quite some money) and you can located in European countries
I have not ever been the newest very girl as i was young however, I experienced an enormous sparkle upwards within the last many years and you will went in the unappealing that earnestly benefiting from the latest fairly advantage.
We obviously features my flaws but have already been concentrating on all of them for a long period and you will overall pay attention to of my loved ones which i possess a sort cardio and that i in the morning worry about alert and a good communicator.
I don’t know when the all this audio arrogant, which is really not the target,I am stating all this so you can contextualise my situation (English isn’t my very first words)
Expanding right up I was right up in a really light environment and that contributed to internalised care about-hate. I have already been unlearning this consistently today. I am totally the opposite today: I am good 100% pro-black colored and i«refuse» to date outside of my ethnicity. I do provides large criteria, but my personal standards usually do not had been things I don’t satisfy myself and is mostly predicated on viewpoints, reputation and levels of aspiration.
Yet not, I am unable to seem to select black dudes during the “my peak”, and that i truthfully should not accept. Often there is a simple challenge with this new guys I meet: -accomplished, type, attractive not Christian or low-exercising Religious (my personal trust is essential for me)
But most of the time the male is merely intimidated from the my success in the an early age. I do not notice relationship a person who brings in less than me however, Personally i think by doing this always come with myself being required to make me personally short. Of course, if I really do satisfy a person who appears to have they all the, we don’t make when you look at the thinking (like looking forward to sex in advance of ple).
https://lovingwomen.org/da/blog/bedste-lande-der-elsker-amerikanske-maend/
I do satisfy so much more white those who see my personal standards however, I do not want to offer toward label you to definitely winning black colored women usually go out white guys along with my reputation for internalised self-hate I do not think I will previously look for myself with a beneficial light people.
I’ve found one to black dudes who are searching for matchmaking me has a great amount of female time consequently they are not leadership and this throws me regarding
I watched ” Thought Such as for instance Men, Act like A lady” also it appears to point out that whenever you are successful and has actually large criteria, you’ll end up solitary.
Whenever i haven’t got one matchmaking Really don’t actually know just how it really works… is actually my requirements in love, in the morning We asking excess? Are We approaching it to help you “rationally” Do you have people methods for me personally ?
Edit : We haven’t phrased my paragraph throughout the eating with the stereotypes well. Whenever i state Really don’t must feed to the stereotypes, I do not maybe not concern with man’s judgment. There are many mixity in my friends no you to cares whom I end up with, I am doing so for me.
The big need I do not must big date white guys is because We anxiety shedding myself once again (lot of shock out of broadening with whites, nonetheless in medication for this). I am not comfortable as much as light guys, I’ve found myself password-modifying 80% of the time and that i simply do not see me completing my life having a white people.
I’d like black love and i also feel like I am happy to meet my people
The second reason is that i should not accept that I need to go out exterior my personal ethnicity to find somebody instance me personally. For me, easily have to time external my pool as I am «as well successful», they kind of confirms the stereotypes I grew up that have, black everyone is towards the bottom and you can white someone on most useful, which when you arrived at a particular number of achievements you need go out a light guy/lady. English is not my personal first words thus excite uncovered with me ????